"The Music Didn't Die" (Part Five)

 Songwriting, Recording, and Production

Nothing awakens a songwriter quite like experiencing new trauma during a healing process. This video was made minutes after the song’s composition. My last original song before it was "Love Other People", posted minutes after writing on November 28th, 2020. Shortly after, I entered the emotional void that ushered in my lost years (2021-2023). This song is called "Placebo Soulmates" (not its original title). My writer's block ended on March 31st, 2024. When deciding to hurt or harm a writer, accept that you’ll likely become a topic.

Writer's Block

I'm no stranger to writer's block. Before beginning this blog, I hadn't written prose with any purpose since college. I graduated with an Associate Degree in Liberal Arts in 1995. After, I chose a life of wage slavery, and like continuing my formal education, writing fell by the wayside. It was less true writer's block than a lack of free time. My creativity focused on songs instead.

I was finally able to purchase some very modest recording equipment in 2003. After recording a self-titled debut album in 2004, a rough EP shortly after, and a very strange follow-up effort called "Beautiful Lies" in 2007; I went dormant as a songwriter for almost 10 years. That was true writer's block.

My second wife and I owned and operated an art cooperative for a few years. Sometime between 2015-2017 (the dates are foggy), I built a low-end recording studio in the back of the storefront we rented, using recycled accordion doors to fabricate a sound isolation booth. The property had once been a meat market. My “studio” was located inside the old meat locker.

My most recent DIY studio release, "Oxidation 2020", is a collection of songs I recorded from 2016 through 2020. The explanation for why it took so long has little to do with writer's block. My life went to complete shit (a familiar theme) in 2017, forcing me to start over from scratch. One toxic relationship ended and another began. My partnership patterns have already been adequately documented in my writing. The personal details are impertinent to my current story, which is about making music in 2024.

Left: It had been my intention to release a CD hardcopy of my self-produced solo album, "Oxidation" in 2020. Then the shutdown happened. It was released on digital platforms only. I then followed it up quickly with an EP I called "2020", which I also released on digital platforms. The version pictured is a compilation of both releases.

I didn’t use an outside source for duplication when I finally released my CD in late 2024. I'm burning them on my laptop and creating the sleeves myself. It's been a true DIY project from start to finish. I wrote all of the songs, played every instrument on the recording, produced it myself, and even created the visual artwork. Why not keep the packaging, CD production, and distribution "in-house", too? 

But, it's not that simple. I considered sending it all out to Discmakers in the Fall of 2024. Back in 2020, being shut down from playing live kept me from ordering copies to sell for obvious reasons. In 2024, it was purely a lack of funds. So, I did the only thing I could at the time: I made them myself and sold them to whoever wanted one. They are still available for $10 + shipping (where applicable). Please contact me at corbettshawn1973@gmail.com for details! 

Full Discography

Please Follow Me On Bandcamp!

Ivy June

The most significant event of my life since the birth of my own children took place on November 7th, 2023. I became a first-time grandfather to a beautiful baby girl named Ivy June. I was a few days past one month in my recovery from alcohol dependence. My 50th birthday was 4 days prior. When Ivy came into the world, I wasn't my best self. Meeting her motivated me to become a better person. In times of chaos and pain, I think of her sweet smile.

I've remained committed to becoming the grandpa I want her to grow up knowing. It's doubtful that I'll ever be satisfied with my efforts in that regard."Ivy June" is a song written in her honor. I had big plans to write and record a brand new album of original songs in 2024. I've written some songs but I haven't had any space to record in my usual DIY method since June of this year. That's when my world shifted on its axis again.

"Ivy June", the single, was recorded and released on all major platforms last year. It was my only official release of 2024. "Ivy June" was the second song I wrote last year. I finished writing it on May 23rd. Some refer to it as my best work to date, but that's not for me to agree or disagree with. 

Below is the official video for the song, released on October 13th:

Celebrating Ivy's First Birthday!

DIY

To this point, all of my original music has been recorded in makeshift spaces. Rarely have I enjoyed the luxury of any soundproofing. I didn't even own a condenser microphone in the early days. I bought some cheap ones before the "Oxidation" project. Money, space, and time have always been major barriers to my process. I’ve worked with what I had and made purchases when I could.

Most of what I've released was recorded in bedrooms. The song, "Leaving Lewis County" was recorded in a dingy basement using a Cajon drum I built myself. It also features a locally crafted 3-string cigar box guitar. 

You'll see an iPad if you zoom in on the photo above. That's a first-generation relic. It didn't even come equipped with a camera. My current recording rig cost under $1000, with the laptop I'm typing on included. I have never used my cheap equipment as an excuse for poor-quality sound. As with everything else I do creatively, I am a self-taught producer. 

I've benefitted from experimenting with old-school recording techniques that I read about in old magazines. Like playing instruments, singing, and writing songs; I am no expert at sound engineering. I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish so far.

The first song I ever wrote and recorded on my own was titled, "Even Trade". It's an acoustic number about growing old and reflecting upon a life of regret. I was 20 years old when I penned it.

Back in the day, I collaborated on a couple songs with my high school friend, Andy. He was lucky enough to be able to afford a 4-track cassette recorder. Other than that, I've only worked alone on original music. Andy and I formed a cover band in our 30s called Whiskey Lane with two of our other childhood friends, Lee and Jeremey. 

I have many reasons for making albums using these DIY methods. Poverty is obvious, but it goes deeper. Collaboration has never brought out the best in me. I shrink in group settings, whether it be at a job, at social gatherings, or in a rock band. Group dynamics have always worked against me. Enough with the nostalgia...

Everything changed in 2024, including my creative process. Somehow, I was able to let go of long-held negative biases about musical collaboration.

Right: My old band, "Whiskey Lane", circa 2007. From left to right: Andy Wendt (Guitar/Vocals), Jeremey Hill (Drums), Me (Bass/Vocals), Lee aka Pete Townsend (Guitar). Will you get a look at my pants! Fun times!

2024: My Year In Song

3/13/24

Above: I snapped this selfie outside of my former residence in Felts Mills, NY on March 13th, 2024. It was the first time I ventured outside for anything other than Drug Court stuff after my February 15th kidney cancer surgery. The sun was shining, so I went for a walk. I wrote "Placebo Soulmates" 2 weeks later. On April 11th, I began busking on the streets of Watertown.

In case anyone is wondering, the answer is no. I will not be naming my next album, "2024: My Year In Song", but I do have some potential titles in mind. Hopefully, its release won't be years away. That's how the "Oxidation 2020" project ended up working out, but it wasn't my original plan. With any luck, the work I continue to do to improve myself will ensure that writing and recording music between catastrophes is a broken cycle.

I've changed my mind numerous times about how I wanted to promote my new music this year. Originally, I planned to do everything in secret, and then just release a finished album unexpectedly. That was before I started busking on the streets of Watertown in April. 

Suddenly, I found myself uploading new videos at a steady clip to Facebook and YouTube, similar to 2020. I started this blog and engaged heavily on my social media music pages for the first time in 4 years. 

Starting with "Placebo Soulmates", I shared my song ideas as they developed—works in progress. "Ivy June" has two videos, a rough phone demo and an official music video featuring the mixed version.

I kept records in 2024. From the photos and videos I sometimes share in my posts, to the personal stories I post on social media, I've been very transparent and honest about my life and its events. I'd call this opposite action, considering the ways I've conducted myself in the past.

Other than the write-up about "Ivy June", I don't feel compelled to explain the subject matter of my other new songs. I've had some conversations about this with people whose opinions I respect. I’m choosing to just let the songs speak for themselves. Perhaps I'd be willing to discuss them in more detail during a radio interview or something. That probably won't happen, but if 2024 taught me anything, it's to not rule anything out. 

Instead of long-winded, autobiographical-style ramblings about my songwriting, I'll just provide the timeline and a YouTube playlist:

- March 31, 2024: Wrote and shared "Placebo Soulmates" on YouTube

- May 23, 2024: Wrote and shared "Ivy June" on YouTube

- June 19, 2024: Wrote "Too Sober Now" and used the voice recorder app on my phone to save the idea. On June 27th, I shared the song on YouTube.

- July 27, 2024: Recorded version of "Ivy June" uploaded to streaming platforms.

- September 11, 2024: Finished writing "Love In a Failed State" and shared on YouTube.

- October 13, 2024: Official video for "Ivy June" released on YouTube.

- October 20, 2024: Wrote "For The First Time" and again used the voice recorder app to capture the idea. I shared it on YouTube on October 30th.

*YouTube playlist below:

My 2024 Original Song Video Diary

Saving the best for last...

New Horizons

Left (from top to bottom, left to right): 1) The logo outside the door of The Woodshed @ MEC 2) Nicky Hails hanging out in the studio before laying down a killer vocal track on one of my songs. 3) Nicky making her magic with Christian Schenk at the controls 4) The legend, Chris Netto, provides some kickass drum tracks. 5) Yours truly, loving the playback. 6) The mastermind, Christian Schenk.

Check Out the Music Education Center:

Music Education Center in Watertown

From my Facebook Music Page on November 23rd, 2024: 

Big news! I’ve been sitting on this for a little while now. Together with some extremely talented and kind people, the recording has begun on a new album of my songs! I am best known (if I’m known at all) for recording the DIY way. Up until now, everything I’ve ever released had been done with very modest equipment at whatever location I’ve found myself. This is a different deal. 

I’m extremely proud of my DIY stuff, but this is a level of amazing I’ve never experienced before. As the songs develop, they really are different, in the most incredible possible way. This project is something special. 

There was a ton of talent, expertise, and experience at The Woodshed at MEC yesterday. Christian Schenk has been dropping some sick baselines on my tracks. He is also producing the whole thing. The results will speak for themselves. No way I get that sound on my own. Chris Netto (I can’t tag him on this page, for whatever reason) is providing some incredible drum and percussion tracks. Yesterday’s session included Nicki Hails. Very cool and very talented artist! She added some beautiful vocals to one of my songs. 

While there is much left to do, I want to thank the people I’m collaborating with now, and will do so often, because I’m insanely grateful! I’ll be posting a lot from here on. Fair warning. This is exciting stuff!

Read more here on my new Patreon page!: 

https://www.patreon.com/posts/new-album-121165667?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Photo credit to Chris Netto

The Music Didn’t Die

Still Kickin'!

If I had it to do over, I would have named my blog “The Music Didn’t Die”. It started out titled “The Journey”, which is about as original as Nickelback’s music. Making the change to “My Journey 2024” made it only slightly less generic. In my defense, I really had no idea what would become of this project. 

As I write my final post to this series, my reflections are a mixture of pride and humility. It would be impossible to tell my story without discussing the importance of music in my life. My healing process really began when I forced myself to dust off my acoustic guitar. The high spots in my life have always included musical ventures. This is a 5 part series. I could have bored you with 10.

One morning in October, I walked up the hill to Lewis County Hospital to get preliminary bloodwork for a contrast MRI in Syracuse a few days later. It was shortly after I published my “Accountability: It’s All My Fault” post. Those were dark days. I considered walking away from my passion again. It was similar to my January retirement phase. I’m not one to subscribe to the “everything happens for a reason” type of thinking. Sometimes, I really do wonder though. 

Before giving blood, I wandered into the cafeteria for coffee. I sat at a table alone, annoyed that Newsmax was playing on the TV. My mood was sullen. Then I heard music playing from an adjacent table to my right. An elderly woman in a wheelchair was blasting “Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man” by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty through a small Bluetooth speaker. She sang along loudly, not missing a word. I sat there for a few minutes and listened. Her enthusiasm was infectious. It brought a smile to my face. 

The cafeteria crooner was accompanied by a nurse (possibly a CNA). 

“Sorry about the racket”, she said as I walked by. 

“Don’t be”, I replied. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard in quite a while.”

A few days later, the sun was shining and it was relatively warm outside. I walked to Veterans Memorial Park in Lowville, carrying my 3/4 scale travel guitar. I had purchased the guitar from a guy I ran into on the street in Watertown for $25 in June. The sound isn’t impressive but it’s much lighter than my full-sized acoustic.

I picked up the litter that some inconsiderate shits had tossed on the concrete floor of the park’s bandstand before I started playing. My plan was to make a new video to upload to YouTube. As I practiced and attempted to choose a song to record, a guy walked across the lawn toward me. I really didn’t feel like being bothered with the conversation. 

The guy was someone I knew, though not well. We had crossed paths many times over the years. Our circles overlapped; he was more of an acquaintance. He told me that he was about to go to court to answer for some charges similar to mine. It was obvious that he was nervous and feeling down. We talked briefly about recovery, regrets, people we knew in common, and our legal troubles. He asked me if I would play some songs before he walked across the street to the Courthouse. I was happy to indulge that request. He listened with his back to me and his head down. 

“Run From What’s Comfortable”-Pat the Bunny

“Too Sober Now”-My Song

I stopped for a moment. When he turned around his hand was over his eyes with tears running down his face. He expressed deep remorse for his charges. I felt that. 

“Let’s not allow those to be our defining moments”, I told him. He nodded in agreement. I had a sense that the previous songs I played probably had a dark tone to his listening ear. Just because they bring comfort to me doesn’t make it a universal reaction. I knew exactly which song to close with. 

“Love Other People”-My Song

Afterward, he turned around and smiled. He thanked me for the conversation and the music. “I loved that last one”, he told me as he made his way to court. I wished him luck. 

These two experiences occurred exactly when I needed them to. I knew I had a rough road forward. Call it what you want: divine intervention, the law of attraction, or pure coincidence. It really doesn’t matter how or why. 

Music is what I do. It’s what I have to offer humanity. My songs will live on long after I’m gone. Legacy matters a little more to me now than it used to. It shouldn't though. If it were up to me, I would create music for many more years, play my songs in the sunshine, and stand on new stages in far-off cities and towns. I’d write and record new music forever if I could. I don’t get to choose though, do I? None of us do. 

*It was originally my intention to make this my final blog entry. What I have written thus far has been too lengthy to include in this post, so there will be one more entry to follow. This is the final part of "The Music Didn't Die". Thank you for reading!

"The Music Didn't Die" (Part Four)

 

My Return To The Stage

Above: Photos from the Summer of 2024. These were taken at live performances- actual gigs! I am amazed, grateful, and deeply humbled by getting the opportunity to do this all again. Top Photo: Second Place Beer Company, Lowville, NY. Bottom Left: The Lowville Cream Cheese Festival. Bottom Right: The Bateman Draft House, Lowville.

January 4, 2024- From my Facebook Music Page:

I deleted this on December 8, 2024. It was the pinned post on my page until November. I left it there to remind myself how far I've come and to take accountability for making statements I'll either retract or disprove by my actions later on. It isn't my first such announcement. No, I wasn’t trying to create drama or generate suspense. It's embarrassing if you want the truth.

First of all, I'm not famous, so who cares? Second, How much of a fool am I, to willingly walk away from something I have loved my entire life, without putting up a respectable fight. Playing music is the best medium available to me for self-expression. 

Anhedonia opened a void in me that couldn’t be filled by anything else. My escape was hellish. In the future, I need to be more respectful of a love that only gives without taking. It needs to be nourished, not starved. My next retirement from music will be announced in my obituary, and not a day sooner. Hold me to it. 

5/4/2024: First Time Back On Stage: Benefit for Joey Griffin

1/3/2024

From: Shawn P Corbett Music on Facebook (please follow!)

"I was deeply saddened to learn of the passing of my dear friend, Joey. He fought a long and courageous battle. With love and sincerity, I offer my deepest condolences to his family and vast network of friends. Joey was one of the most genuine people I have ever met. Meeting him meant making a friend.

I know Joey's family well. Like him, they are the real deal; generous, kind-hearted, talented, authentic, and honest human beings. My heart is with them all today. Without these folks, I wouldn't be where I am today. I really mean it.

In May, I had the honor of playing music at a benefit for Joey at the Lowville Elks. When Jasyn invited me to play, I immediately wanted in. Truthfully, I wasn't sure what I'd be able to handle physically. A one-hour time slot seemed manageable. The recovery from my own cancer surgery in February was slow and painful. I also hadn't performed in front of people in over four years. No way I was missing that one.

Jasyn made performing easy for me. I only had to bring my guitar and a microphone. My original plan was to play sitting down. It didn't take me long to scrap that idea. I played standing up, as I've always done in the past. The energy in that room provided the strength I needed to reconnect to music in a way that had eluded me, up until that day. Jasyn has since been one of, if not the most supportive friend I've had in terms of returning to live music.

Later that Summer, I hopped on stage to play a song with Kickstand at the Lewis County Fair, then a few weeks later at "Music In The Park" in Lowville. Later, Jasyn booked me at the Lowville Cream Cheese Festival and recommended me for the show I played at Second Place Beer Co. He literally was the person who got me rolling again. My gratitude cannot be overstated. Jasyn Griffin, I love you and consider you family.

The performance at the benefit turned out much better than I imagined. I felt like me again, even better, actually. After my spot, I joined Jasyn and Gabe Shepherd for an extended jam session to wrap up. It was amazing! The best part of the day was yet to come though...

Jasyn and I surprised Joey outside of The Elks Lodge with an unplugged and personalized rendition of "Closing Time" by Semisonic (IYKYK). I'll never forget the smile on Joey's face. I have so many cherished memories of making music in 2024. That one was the absolute best, with no close second.

Joey has been one of the top fans of this page since that day, consistently. He watched me perform many times over the years and was always happy to see me out. I hope that the music I posted this year brought him more smiles. And now the tears...

RIP Joey, my friend. You'll be missed by so many. Thank you for sharing your beautiful soul with all of us who had the privilege of knowing you."

Some highlights from the performance:

Joe Griffin Benefit- Shawn P Corbett

(Please subscribe to my YouTube channel.)

6/1/2024: "A Day Of Hope"

I ended up playing this event after conversations with some of my friends in recovery, those who are also employed by human services agencies in Watertown. It would be an unplugged (not amplified) performance at Peanut Park, at the center of Public Square.

Ryan Hardy had to cancel, so I played the entire time, taking only a couple of short breaks. For me, it was another big step forward. Despite being physically exhausted that evening, I felt inspired and highly motivated to do more with music going forward.

I split my time between guitar and ukulele. Without amplification, projecting was a challenge. I decided to move around the park to engage more people. It was just like my normal day of busking but with a decent-sized crowd. I didn't get paid to play "A Day of Hope". It was voluntary. The picture below was my reward, which was outstanding. 

8/23/2024: "Community Night Out"

"Community Night Out" is a national event. Basically, its purpose is to improve relations between police and the community. Admittedly, being asked to play this one was a surprise. Not my usual gig, right? I had a great time just the same. This was the first show that required me to carry and set up my own gear since...well, I don't really remember when. It was quite a few years ago. I'm glad my equipment was still operational. 

I learned a lot about my physical capabilities that evening. To my surprise, my body felt amazing before, during, and after performing. I was shocked by how much I had healed since May. My recovery from kidney cancer surgery plateaued for a while, but it took a giant leap forward between late June and August.

So...

A friendly probation officer connected me to the event planner. She works for the Department of Social Services in Lowville. I mentioned playing music to the probation officer during a random urine screening for Drug Court. No, I'm not making any of it up.

Probation, cops, and DSS? Not very “anarchist”, is it? But you know what…

I truly believe in community partnerships, especially at the local level. Open communication can create pathways for community improvement, which is very anarchic if you look at it right. Rome wasn’t burned in a day. Practical anarchism involves working to improve the current state of humanity while believing that a better world is possible. 

Hopefully, I will get to do this again in 2025. It was my first paid performance since February of 2020. 

8/30/2024: Watertown Overdose Awareness Day

What an honor it was to play music to bring awareness to such an important cause. I am grateful to ACR Health for hiring me to perform. There are so many great people doing the healing work of recovery in Watertown. We support each other when it matters.

I set up in the gazebo at Peanut Park. The rain relented just long enough for the event go off without a hitch. It poured heavily, right up until start time.

It was the first time my girlfriend, Michelle, watched me play live. After the show:

Her: "I'll help you carry gear and watch you play, but I'm not going to be a fangirl for you."

Me: So, that means you really are into me as a person, and not because I play music? That's actually weirder."

#HarmReductionSavesLives

9/21/2024: "Double Booked"

2024 Lowville Cream Cheese Festival

Michelle is from Pennsylvania. When I first mentioned the "Lowville Cream Cheese Festival", she paused and asked for clarification. It never occurred to me that there is anything bizarre about celebrating cream cheese, Philadelphia Cream Cheese at that.

I was obliged to explain the inner workings of the festival to Michelle, but by doing so, I also had to inform her that Philadelphia Cream Cheese is produced exclusively in Lowville, NY. That’s the equivalent of discovering that Croghan Bologna is made in Des Moines, Iowa. Luckily, it is not. I'm sure it was a lot to unpack.

I've mentioned playing at the festival in some of my previous posts. I was scheduled to perform in 2023. Then I got arrested a week prior. My name and arrest details were trumpeted by the local radio station, repeatedly, for a full 24-hour news cycle. The press release was publicly posted on Facebook and elsewhere. It was “small-town scandalous”.

I don't exactly remember why I booked the 2023 show initially. Maybe it was aspirational thinking. Canceling was the best choice available to me at the time. Showing my face in public would have invited a level of shame I couldn't force myself to endure back then. I was completely broken as a person.

Although I had played at the festival many times in the past (probably as much as anyone), I wasn’t actively practicing in preparation for it. Arrest and humiliation aside, I was in no shape to perform live back then. I would have sucked and I knew it.

My friend and fellow musician, Jasyn (mentioned previously) informed me that another music act had canceled their upcoming performance at the festival. He is tasked with booking, scheduling, and virtually anything else to do with live music at the event. After our conversation at the Lewis County Fair in July, he asked me if I wanted to take the vacant slot on the Veterans' Stage behind the American Legion in September. I didn't hesitate to accept. Hell yeah, I wanted to play!

In addition to Michelle, I had many friends in attendance that day. My daughters, their mother, and my granddaughter all came out, too. One of my oldest and best friends, Lee (Pete Townsend) surprised me by coming to hang out and show his support. It all meant more to me than I can describe adequately. From 2023 to 2024...Wow, what a difference. 

Minutes before I hit the stage, the scene got a little strange. As mentioned, I was there with Michelle (my girlfriend). Dawn (my first wife and the mother of my children), was also at the show, holding our granddaughter while I sang. I was grateful that they were all there. My second wife and my most recent ex-girlfriend...not so much.

I expected to see wife #2, though we haven't spoken in many years. The Legion is on her stomping grounds. Our paths cross often, but just in passing. The ex-girlfriend, however, was conspicuous in her presence. She just happened to stroll through, right next to the stage, 10 minutes before my start time. Nothing stupid ensued, but that was some Twilight Zone shit for me. My performance proceeded without incident.

"I really need to fucking move away from here", I said to Lee, rolling my eyes. He just laughed.

It was blistering hot that afternoon. My timeslot was from 2:45 to 3:45. The stage was unshaded, but it didn't matter because I was so happy to be on it. I wrapped up my hour with "Rockin' In The Free World" by Neil Young. I seldom play that song anymore, but I was joined by my good friends, Jasyn and Allison from the group Kickstand. It was a song we all knew. What an absolute blast!

Debut @ The Bateman Draft House

I had a second show booked that day. After finishing up at the Cream Cheese Festival, I had just enough time to pack my guitar and walk over to the Bateman Draft House. I had dropped off my sound system the night before with Michelle's help. A large section of State Street in Lowville shuts down for the festival and the surrounding parking is non-existent. Besides, it's impossible to set up for a 4:30 show in less than 45 minutes. It is for me anyway. 

The Bateman Draft House gig was just as significant as my return to playing at the festival. It was my first full-length, “All Originals" show ever. The songs I played spanned my entire songwriting career, from my early 20s to the present. It lasted 3 hours. The crowd was enthusiastic and attentive. Megan and Brandon, the proprietors, were incredible hosts.

I decided to sit in a chair while performing. It wasn’t a physical accommodation. Supposedly, I was going for that "storyteller" vibe. My between-song banter was unrehearsed, and therefore, quite dorkish. Michelle offered some constructive feedback concerning my interactions with the audience later on, which I appreciated. Crowd engagement is definitely my weakest area.

In the past, I would only speak sparingly at live venues, but my original songs have backstories. I did my best to convey those appropriately, but there is always room for improvement. I am forever committed to growth. Hopefully, I'll become more proficient at speaking on stage with practice. Maybe if I just imagine myself busking?

It was an amazing experience to share my original music publicly. Honestly, it was like a boyhood dream come true. I’d say the show was a hit, as I was invited to play a second one. 

Here is a video Michelle took that evening:

9/28/2024 Second Place Beer Company

My first show at Second Place Beer Company in Lowville was a last-minute booking. Jasyn called me that morning to gauge my interest. Of course, I was down. I made him aware of my transportation woes, which he offered to help with. The brewery had just opened a week earlier. I agreed to play from 5-8:00. 

All of my performances in 2024 were special. This gig was no exception. The business owners were friendly and accommodating. Basically, it was a cover music show, but I mixed a few of my own songs in, too. My last performance of this kind was at the Coachlight Inn in Brantingham, NY on February 21st, 2020, right before the Covid shutdown.  

It has never been my style to play the expected repertoire of generic cover songs since I’ve been a solo act. I only play songs I like listening to, which I believe surprises people sometimes. My song list (if I remember to bring one) crosses many genres and is a mixture of both mainstream and obscure material. It is always my hope to expand the playlists of the audience members. Cliches aren't my thing.

Being away from the game for so long and having such an eclectic style brought some unexpected nervous energy to the stage that night. What if I was too weird?

The 28th was a very warm September day. The building which is now retrofitted for a craft brewery, once housed a car dealership and repair shop. Its large overhead garage doors were open. People sat outside and played cornhole during the daylight hours. There was a substantial crowd, both inside and out.

I ran into many people I once knew but hadn't seen in many years. Overall, it was a warm reception, even though I played a fair amount of folk punk covers. I guess I mixed in enough popular stuff to keep the audience engaged.

My daughter, Sierra, drove me and my gear to the venue, which is just down the street from her home. I have been staying since my June breakup. She lives in Lowville with her husband (my son-in-law, Andrew), and my baby granddaughter, Ivy June. Sierra made me a tip cup out of an empty Mason jar for the show. That proved to be an excellent idea.

Jasyn designed that poster (above) using a Facebook photo from my profile. I was 36 years old in the picture. I joked about it with the establishment's owner, telling him it was false advertising. I'm looking forward to playing more gigs at Second Place. 

Oh yeah…my “closer” was an acoustic version of Freebird. 

(Above) Sierra's tip jar at the end of the night.

October Malaise

October began with musical momentum and renewed confidence. It would be short-lived. A string of misfortunes seemed to hit me all at once. My unemployment insurance ran out, idiotic personal conflicts raged, and uncertainties about my health and cancer status cast an ominous shadow over my previously unshakeable optimism.

Truthfully, I started to doubt myself and my purpose, which came through in my writing in October. I wasn't able to book any shows that month either, which didn't help. Due to cold and rainy weather, it was the end of my regular busking routine, too. I wrote about that in Part 3.

Playing music had become part of my daily regimen. When the seasons changed, I struggled to get any practice time in. The house where I reside is home to a beautiful baby girl, making a quiet environment essential.

It was then that I realized how important playing music was to me again. October was rough. I felt like my upward spiral had reversed course and right on cue, I considered abandoning my dream once more, which is to be a professional artist. 

With the love and encouragement of my true friends, my very caring youngest sister, the incredible adult children I am so proud to call mine, and the lovely Michelle, I moved tentatively through the new hardships. My people carried me through, just by being present in my life and supporting me emotionally when I needed it most.

I intend to show my eternal gratitude by living a positive, and with any luck, an inspiring life with the time I have left; many more years if the universe allows. Setbacks are an inevitable part of the process. Perhaps I got a little too comfortable with winning for a spell.

Despite my negative circumstances, a phenomenal new musical venture also began for me in October. That will be the subject of Part 5...

November 30th (Thanksgiving Storm)

Hard times continued into November, as the cancer screening process accelerated and my money continued to dwindle. So naturally, I was ecstatic when Megan from the Bateman Draft House contacted me to play another show featuring my original songs. We booked it for November 30th, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. 

Michelle and I had planned our holiday together for months. We reserved an Airbnb in the foothills of the Adirondacks. The plan was to cook dinner together, spend a few days and nights in the quiet of the wilderness, and then check out on Sunday morning after my scheduled evening show the night before. Most of it worked out spectacularly. The show part didn't happen though.

There was a major snowstorm that weekend. We were stuck in the woods. Over 2 feet of fresh snow fell upon the region from Thursday night through Saturday afternoon. Our electrical service was intermittent, and there wasn't any cell service to speak of (there isn't on a clear day). The WiFi had stopped working, even when the power was live.

With a growing sense of urgency, I asked the hosts if they could assist me in finding a signal somewhere nearby. Luckily, their neighbor was running a generator, so his WiFi was operational. When I contacted Megan about the show, we both agreed it was best to cancel and reschedule. 

Michelle and I were able to travel safely the following Monday. I wonder if the old me would have dwelled on the disappointment of a canceled gig and not embraced our circumstances as they presented. This current version of me didn't do that. Being stranded with Michelle was a wonderful opportunity that I am grateful to have been given. In a small space with sketchy amenities, we collaborated as a couple and made beautiful new memories. 

We'll reschedule that show when the time is right. 

Reflections

"And well, I've been thinking things

Thinking things I just hope aren't true

Like maybe you don't choose punk rock

Because punk rock chooses you"

Pat The Bunny

It wasn't the number of shows, the frequency of bookings, or even the money that mattered most to me in 2024. My January retirement announcement was sincere. I had just turned 50 and already I knew I had kidney cancer, which would require major surgery. Additionally, I was facing felony DWI charges, and I had just signed a plea deal for Drug Court a few weeks earlier in an effort to avoid incarceration. I'd say my decision to call it quits was reasonable and practical at the time. The trouble is, I am neither of those things. 

"Refuse to quit, fuse is lit, can't defuse the wick

I don't do this music shit, I lose my shit"

Eminem

Barriers remain. My Driver's License is revoked, probably permanently, and for good reason. Relying on others for transportation makes booking gigs precarious, especially while living in the North Country. Venues usually schedule live entertainment many months in advance. I didn't seek out any of my paid gigs in 2024. I just played the shows that were offered. Transportation wasn't my only obstacle.

Being on Drug Court meant that I needed to ask permission to perform at bars and all other locations that serve alcohol. Consistently being granted that permission says an awful lot about how I conducted myself in the program. I graduated from Drug Court on 12/9/2024. My charge was reduced to a misdemeanor. By graduating, my availability to play traditional venues became a lot more flexible. I’m officially open for business now. 

And no, I'm not at all worried about being around alcohol or the people drinking it. I was never a bar drinker. What worries me most is the possibility of being forced to take some shitty 9 to 5, inevitably becoming incurably miserable, and ultimately succumbing to the temptation of self-medication in a doomed effort to numb the hopelessness and loathing that accompanies that dystopian way of life. I’m not built for that. Decades of suffering and instability serve as undeniable proof. 

My cancer status is still unknown, but I’m feeling quite physically capable for the most part. Regardless of the diagnosis, I am moving forward with my plans, both in music and in life overall. I don't get to decide or even influence the outcome, so I can only live for today. So far, there isn't any reason for me to believe there will be no tomorrow. 

Being back on stage after such a long and miserable hiatus, with all of the above-mentioned roadblocks in place, and having had numerous near-death experiences the previous year is an unlikely story. Going through a catastrophic breakup that left me broke and unhoused in June made it even less probable. I persevered. I’m back and I’m staying for a while. 

2024 was maybe the most ridiculous, significant, painful, and joyous year of my existence. It was, without question, the most rewarding cycle of my long musical career. That statement has nothing to do with money, although I am in desperate need of more of that right now.

Money has never been my main motivation for creativity. I don’t concern myself with attention seeking, collecting accolades, or pursuing prestige. I don’t care about bragging rights or competing with anyone else. 

And for the record:

Despite popular opinion, playing music has never just been an absurd attempt by me to get laid (that's what this blog is for).

When I lost music, I lost the spiritual frequency connected to my soul. Eventually, all was lost, including my identity. Foolishly, I decided not to quit. A new life began that day.

The 5th and final installment of "The Music Didn't Die, coming next...

 

“The Music Didn’t Die” (Part Three)

 

What is busking? Overview at the link below:

https://www.musicgateway.com/blog/how-to/what-is-busking-how-can-you-benefit-from-doing-it

Busking

During the Summer months of the 2010s, I would sometimes busk on the “Five Corners” in Old Forge, NY.  My performances were born out of boredom. My ex-wife (#2) occasionally worked the sales counter at a now-defunct storefront called “The Starving Artist Gallery,” a consignment shop selling creative works by area artists, artisans, and crafters. She made wire-wrapped jewelry. Her earrings were a top seller. 

Enchanted Forest Water Safari (an amusement park) draws thousands of visitors to the tiny village of Old Forge in the Summer. My partner used to take us at least once a year when I was a kid. My children grew up vacationing there, too. My oldest daughter and son worked at the park when they were teenagers. 

The town is one of several tourist traps nestled in the Adirondack Park. Outdoor recreation (hiking, kayaking, camping, skiing, etc.) also draws crowds to the mountains. The 1980 Winter Olympic Games were held in Lake Placid. I graduated from North Country Community College in Saranac Lake back in 1995. The Adirondacks are an integral part of my history. 

When relations were copacetic between us, my ex-wife and I enjoyed staying in Old Forge. She volunteered at the gallery, which was considered a cooperative, in lieu of paying rent for the space. The business was considered a cooperative. While she ran the register and conversed about her wares, I played my acoustic guitar and sang on a bench outside by the sidewalk. 

I’d lay my open guitar case down in front of me for tips. Tourists would stop and listen to a song or two, often tossing a few bucks in the case. Sometimes, it would be 5s, 10s, and even 20s. Usually, the money piled up rather quickly. 

There wasn't any particular structure to what I was doing back then. I played vanilla, mainstream cover songs for the yuppies passing by with their sunburnt, sweaty children trailing behind. Street performing brought in enough donations to catch a respectable beer buzz while eating some delicious, greasy bar food at Tony Harpers Pizza and Clam Shack across the street. 

Watertown 2024

Watertown, NY isn’t so touristy. After semi-recovering from my cancer surgery in February, I really just wanted to play music for enjoyment. I lost my driver's license after a felony DWI arrest in September 2023. 

My Drug Court sentence meant that I had many obligations to fulfill. It was that or jail. Monday through Friday mornings, I’d call a number to find out if I had to submit a piss test that day. I was additionally required to attend at least 2 self-help groups a week. 

Early on in my sentence, I started going to the recovery center near Public Square as an alternative to 12-step groups. I attended and barely suffered through a few AA meetings first before changing direction. The recovery center was a much better fit, because it offered secular support groups. Dogma repetition is an ineffective method for me in recovery. I create my own slogans. 

In addition, I was ordered to complete an outpatient addiction treatment program, which mandated 1 addiction counseling session and 1 clinical support group per week. All of my appointments took place in the city. 

I'd catch rides to Watertown with my now ex-girlfriend, who worked near the recovery center. In between self-help groups, outpatient appointments, and (of course) pissing in cups while being visually observed, I would play an assortment of stringed instruments and sing while sitting on park benches on and around the Square.

I started out with my ukulele because it was light enough for hauling. It was a sticker adorned, tenor ukulele that I purchased at a pawn shop for $40 around 10 years ago. The weight of the items I carried around town with me mattered a lot back then. I began busking in April. If the temperature reached 50 degrees and it wasn’t raining, I was outside playing music, usually to no audience. 

To be honest, I wasn’t physically well enough to be out there doing any of it. Drug Court had its demands and so did my ex. I pushed through the many aches and pains, which were sometimes relentless and debilitating. There were days when I was quite concerned for my well-being. I didn’t have much, if any, autonomy back then. 

The endorphin release from playing music carried me through this period. I learned to enjoy my days in Watertown. My emotional and spiritual skin thickened with experience. So did the callouses on my fret hand. 

Being in public so frequently helped me develop better communication skills. Personal growth in that area proved to be a great asset. My lack of social skills had always been a glaring liability; stifling my overall functioning in all aspects of life. Improvements have been made in this area, but I’d stop short of referring to myself as a conversationalist or an extrovert. I was once a misanthrope. I’m more of a humanist now. 

Music made me somewhat of a fixture on the Square. Motorists would often honk and wave. People on the sidewalks stopped to chat. While not monetarily beneficial, it was (in my estimation) a successful social experiment. I'll remember the experience fondly. 

As mentioned, busking in Watertown wasn’t a lucrative venture, but one day in April, a younger man handed me a $100 bill after listening to me play my original song, “Transformer” at Peanut Park. Obviously, that transaction didn’t become a trend. Not even close. It didn’t bother me at all. My motivation wasn’t focused on making money.

I shot this video under a pavilion at a park in Felts Mills (about 15 miles outside of Watertown). I wasn’t yet cleared for full physical activity after my surgery. I walked there from my ex’s house. It was an unseasonably warm day in late March. 

Sensory interpretations of my surroundings had peaks and valleys throughout the warmer months of 2024. My own life circumstances changed drastically at the beginning of Summer. A combination of co-occurring factors changed the way I look at the world around me, hopefully forever. 

Watertown is a minuscule city. While Public Square poorly masquerades as a hub for local businesses, it has become better known for its unhoused population in recent years. I spent a fair amount of my time conversing with many of these fine people. In the end, we’re all just human beings. None better. None worse. Far too often, this is either forgotten, or brazenly ignored in favor of selfishness, greed, and willful ignorance.

Watertown is a rough place to be poor, not that anywhere is a comfortable environment for surviving extreme poverty. In a functioning society, these conditions would not exist for anyone. 

Bitter cold weather combined with the general populace's increasing indifference to human suffering makes Watertown somewhat more “interesting”, often in the worst of ways. It's big enough to be called a city, but small enough to be controlled by "good ol' boy" politicians and sycophants with snobby, backward-ass, small-town sensibilities.

You can tell a lot about a culture by observing how its most vulnerable populations are treated by those with greater means. We live in a society where punching down is the norm…a consensus ambivalence, edging on collective cruelty. 

"This is probably the favorite thing of mine, at least to me, that I've written. And um, it's about a small town upstate New York, called Watertown, New York. That's more than it deserves. I spent a week there one afternoon."-Harry Chapin, from the intro to the song, "A Better Place To Be".

Homecoming

I moved back to Lowville, NY in June after breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. There, I continued busking. Different environments provide (withhold) different stimuli. The sociology of Watertown is far more diverse and intriguing.

Lowville is a stereotypical small town. It's where I'm from...well, sort of. Lowvillians would never allow me to claim native status, even after living there for 10 years previously. I'm from Glenfield (approximately 7 miles south), basically nowhere.

For correct pronunciation, think "Cowville". The town could aptly be renamed. I'm not going to trash my roots, though. The greater Lewis County region is exactly what an outsider would expect it to be while driving through, which is what most people do. It does have its charms.

There are elements of my personality that will always remain "country". However, 51 years in, I realize I will never belong there and never did. I tried to blend in for decades, which was a huge mistake and an act of self-betrayal. Maybe I don’t belong anywhere. To be discovered…

Relevance

Performing outdoors was the catalyst for everything positive that occurred for me in 2024. It was/is my foundation. If I waited around for convenience or comfort, I would have perished from ingesting a lethal cocktail of boredom and coerced inertia by Summer’s end. I seized the available opportunities. I’m building a new life now.

I’ve written new songs along the way, some indicative of hardship. There are also a few about new love and resurgent hope in the mix. Along the treacherous and winding path of self-discovery, I've managed to form new, enriching networks and bonds. Eventually, I started playing more traditional venues again, but my practice time was still spent out in the open air. 

Street performing became difficult in late October, due to the change in seasons. Life has been consistently challenging throughout this journey. There have been setbacks, disappointments, and frustrations. I'm finding my way through the maze and am grateful for the gifts that each day offers.

Music still is, and will forever be an enduring component of my human experience- my chosen medium for self-expression. Actually, it chose me. 

I consider observing and interacting with people equally important to practicing my craft. It’s no exaggeration for me to claim that I never developed consistent, basic interpersonal skills until this past year. Had I put any significant effort into that venture, it would have been a continuation of meaningless fakery on my end…Masking. 

Finally, I just decided to be my true self and unburden my mind of concerns over the reactions of others to my authenticity and newfound self-respect. I refuse to live as some fragmented depiction, ripped from poorly written pages of someone else’s biased narrative. 

My focus remains on understanding who I am better and evolving in the direction of my own choosing. The deeper I dig, the more confused I become. I have learned to appreciate upheaval as necessary. The truths I've uncovered have often been emotionally excruciating to accept, but I don't believe the truth is meant to rise or fall to meet anyone's moral aesthetic. I doubt my ideal world bears any resemblance to yours anyway. 

Watertown taught me to appreciate humanity in its current state, ugliness and all. However, my convictions concerning true freedom, social justice, and equity have embedded themselves much deeper into my heart along the way. I've attempted to convey these "radicalizations" through the new music I've written this year. Maybe kindness and empathy are considered revolutionary now. It matters not to me how I am perceived by most. There are a few exceptions. 

My own personal balancing act is an ongoing feud between a middle-aged ideologue and an ever-inquisitive teenage boy. These two extremes wage a non-stop turf war for control over my beleaguered subconscious. What an adventure it has been. Life and humanity continue to fascinate. 

One day a girl approached me on Court Street in Watertown and asked, "Hey Instrument Jesus, how does my makeup look?". I told her it was on point. 

Part Four coming sometime...

Please consider following and supporting my creative ventures:

https://linktr.ee/shawnpcorbett